Feb. 3/99
Walked over to see dad with Oreo after lunch; Wahid had put him in bed to give him his afternoon massage. I said hello to dad...after about 10 seconds he smiled and then looked as if he was going to cry. He hasn't done this for many months...starting to cry when he sees me. But he very quickly lapsed away from me and was soon fast asleep as Wahid rubbed his feet and legs. It's nice to know that we can o something for dad that brings him pleasure. There doesn't seem to be anything else arart from the massage.

Feb. 28/99
Fallen behind once again...I am pretty sure dad suffered another stroke a few weeks ago. I went to see him on a Thursday and he was absolutely out to lunch; could not focus on anything, no response and tremendous fatigue. The on-call doctor had been called and he was seen again the following day by his own physician; at first they thought it was an infection of some kind and put him on antibiotics. I didn't agree and the doc did say when I called him that he now felt it had been a stroke. Tears have once again been so close to the surface as I watch his decline.

I saw him last week; he was better, had recovered some from the stroke and was in fact being very difficult and crabby... good signs for him! My sister was in last weekend to help me go through our family home to dispose of stuff. I wanted her to visit dad..she hasn't seen him since last May..she was reluctant but I insisted so we went after lunch on Sunday. He did give us a smile but then fell asleep. I don't think there is any longer a 'good' time to visit; there are bad days and not so bad days and it's the luck of the draw.

Wahid took dad on an outing to the mall this past Thursday; have just called to see how dad did. It may seem pointless to do something like this but I never give up thinking that any little thing may bring some happiness to him, if even for an instant. I cannot imagine being imprisoned physically and mentally like he is. I was sitting with him one day just talking and out of frustration I said I wished I could read his mind. When I said goodbye I spoke in his ear and told him I was leaving and that I would be back soon. I could tell he understood me from his eyes but nothing can come out of his mouth.

Wahid is great with dad; he gets rave reviews from the staff.I believe he knows something instinctively...the importance of touch when caring for an impaired person. That's all dad has really..he can't speak, has impaired hearing and sight but he really responds to touch. Wahid is always touching dad, as I am..on his bald head, holding hands, massaging him...Dad is always rolling up his pant leg now which tells us he wants a massage...funny to see.