Oct. 1/98
Today told me what a frantic life I lead. Last night at dad's I found a letter inviting us to the senior's Thanksgiving service. I saw Thursday and nothing else registered...I assumed it was today. So I called this morning to tell them I would pick dad up at 1:30 for church and though to myself...I'm too busy for this...

I arrived early to find him inappropriately dressed, his teeth not inserted...ticked me off.. But I got help immediately to change his shirt and pants, only to find a nasty looking cut on his lower left leg. I was more pissed off. No-one had 'the key' so I couldn't even get a bandaid for the wound.

But we got to the church on time, only to find...guess what...it was empty! I had the wrong day; the service is next Thursday...duhhh! Poor dad, gets changed and rustled about for nothing. So we went for a walk to the village and had a frozen yogurt..on a rather chilly day. When we got back Miajan was there; I had left him a message not to meet us at the church. I showed him dad's leg and he assured me he would get it looked after. I had to run, zillions of things to do, including spending my life's savings on postage for the newsletters...

When I got home I called the director of nursing and asked her to look into how dad would get such a cut. I suspect it was a poor transfer and he was cut by an edge on his wheelchair.

I have arranged for dad to receive massage therapy for his back; it starts this Saturday for half an hour. I hope it brings pleasure to dad, sitting for so many hours with such horrible arthritis in his back.

Oct. 9/98
October is the beginning of conference month; I leave for the east coast tomorrow for 10 days (taking a few days off as well). So I went to see dad to tell him I was leaving. His new TV had arrived; we bought him a 13" TV/VCR so we can watch travel movies during the winter. Hope the plan works! We went out for a walk; when we returned I showed him the October issue of CARP News. Dad and I are on the cover; there is a story about us and caregiving. The picture is gorgeous...I was so pleased and proud for dad. I explained about the magazine and the story; when I told him he was famous, I saw the smile! It is so hard for me to really figure out what he understands; he looks blank so much of the time and yet understands some things that surprize me. Selective comprehension? You can read the story at http://www.fifty-plus.net (go to CARP News). The photo isn't there.

Oct. 21/98
I got back Sunday night and have not had 2 minutes to rub together until today; walked over to see dad, finally. He was in the doorway of his room as usual; when he realized it was me, he started to cry which he hasn't done for ages. he was upset about something...I gave him a big hug and put his teeth in, then set about describing my trip out east. As usual I babble on, hoping he picks up bits and pieces. Several people came by to comment on the CARP picture and article; I held it up for dad once again and told him he was famous, words he seems to understand!

I gave him his lunch and then suggested we go to Loblaws, since the roads around the village are all torn up. Several times he spoke in sentences and I didn't understand one single word...so bloody frustrating for both of us So I pushed him over and we did the aisles; we oogled the pumpkins, had a coffee and he chose some cookies. I asked him if there was anything else he wanted; he quite clearly stated he wanted another cookie jar! I don't know why but we found what they had, plastic containers similar to the one he has. I chose one for his approval and we returned home. We stayed outside talking to some other companions and then I took him in. He needed to be changed and fortunately there was some help available for a change.

I decided to check my voice mail, since I had been out of my home office for about 3.5 hours; as soon as I did so, dad became moody. It never changes..as soon as I give my attention to someone or something else, his nose gets out of joint. Miajan arrived shortly thereafter and I said goodbye to a grumpy father.

Oct. 26/98
Walked over after dinner; found dad in his room with the TV on a French station?? Got things organized and then began to give him a haircut. He usually falls asleep and tonight was no exception; by the time I was done he was out like a light. I just sat with him, until his nurse came by. I said he was ready to go to bed and expected an easy transition. Not so. Although the nurse is very good, he didn't use the Hoyer lift but rather moved dad from the wheelchair to the bed himself. I think he did it too firmly and quickly..cuz dad took off! he got so agitated that he was flinging his arms all over...I was afraid one or both of us would end up with a black eye. But we got him cleaned up and in bed but he wouldn't even let me take his teeth out. So I sat with him for a while and then left.

Oct. 30/98
I adopted a dog yesterday. I have wanted one for so long but couldn't quite take the plunge, cuz I do travel and I have a very possessive cat! But I dropped into the SPCA 'just to look' on my way home from a meeting, saw a black terrier cross, scruffy and sick but with a face so full of love I just could not say no. Her new name is Oreo (like the cookie). She was abandoned so there was no history on this one year bundle of energy. Now things will be even more hectic for a while...like I need more to do...but I think it could be great.

Oreo was in the vet all day for a bath so I went to see dad about 10:30; Miajan was getting him ready for the Friday morning outing to the village for coffee along with Sheila, Mireille and their ladies. I told dad: guess what I did...when I asked him if he thought I was crazy for getting a dog, he nodded 'yes!'. (Dad was never into animals). I told him I would bring Oreo to visit soon; I suspect Oreo will be great with seniors.

So we all sat around having coffee and I thought to myself: I am so lucky to have found Miajan as a companion for dad; he and Sheila and Mireille all care for dad and make his life so much richer. Sheila was giving him his coffee and making such a fuss over him, which of course he loves. In fact, dad gets very upset when Miajan talks to someone else when he is with dad; the other day he was talking to a work associate when dad piped up: 'go home, go home now!' She left!

These outings are as close to a normal social outing for dad as I could ever create. I just sat there and smiled...