Long-distance caregiving can be just as or even more stressful than being there. Long-distance caregivers may not be on site providing direct care, but they could be busy in their role as care managers — locating and coordinating services; negotiating with the care recipient, health professionals and family members; delegating tasks; monitoring the situation and making decisions.Telephone and travel may provide some relief but distance can heighten the caregiver's feelings of anxiety and guilt. An extended period of long-distance caregiving exacts a heavy toll on the caregiver's personal, family and work life.

Canadian statistics on caregiving:

• 69% of caregivers are women — mostly married, working mothers
• 70% of care recipients are women
• 58% of care recipients are 65 years and older
• Nearly half a million Canadians moved to care for someone with a long-term illness or to be cared for by a relative or friend
• Half of the caregiving relationships that involve a move concern an adult child taking care of an ailing parent
• In nearly one in five cases, people moved closer to care for a friend

Source: Statistics Canada's General Social Survey (1996)

Top

Things You Should Know

• all the usual caregiving worries are magnified when a caregiver is far away
• before considering becoming a long distance caregiver you should consider:
  • what publicly funded services are available in the community where the person needing care lives? Are they accessible to the person needing care? Will they need help accessing them? If they do need help, is someone within the person's community available?
  • is there a relative or friend nearby the person needing care who can help?
  • can you tolerate the travel fatigue?
  • how will this decision impact on the rest of your family?
  • how will your decision affect work?
  • can you afford the extra costs involved?
  • are you emotionally prepared for the added burdens?
  • can you be patient and assertive enough when communicating long distance?

Things to Look For

Warning signs that a person may require care assistance:

• deteriorating physical or mental health
• poor hygiene
• missed meals
• malnutrition
• incontinence
• unsafe or unsanitary living conditions
• mental confusion
• memory problems
• signs of depression
• wandering
• poor judgment
• poor decision-making
• unpaid bills
• limited mobility
• inability to drive
• lack of access to transportation
• lack of a social network

In telephone conversations, gently probe for information about the person's health and well-being. Listen for cues that may indicate problems. If possible, visit to assess the situation.

Special Situations

Moving/Relocation

Should the person requiring care move in with you? Or should you move closer to be with them? Review the alternatives. What does the person need to stay in their own home? Perhaps home modifications and community services will suffice. If not, look for options that allow the care recipient, especially an older person, to continue living in the same community.

Factors to consider before moving or relocating a senior

• the care recipient's needs for independence and familiarity with friends and community
• your past relationship with the care recipient
• your needs and your family's needs
• lifestyle differences
• the home environment — space, privacy, safety
• the availability of proper health care
• the availability of publicly funded community resources to help the care recipient
• your emotional, physical and financial capability to deal with the person's care needs
• cost of associated care if this is not available or accessible from the publicly funded system
• the impact on your job
• How long you expect the arrangement to last
• the effect of an out-of-province or out-of-country move on eligibility for health-care and other services

Relocation for a caregiver may be inevitable if

• community services are not available or accessible for the care recipient
• the physician recommends it
• the person needs 24-hour care or supervision
• the person can no longer live safely at home